The weight of waiting
Unbearably heavy
A suffocating blanket
A dark ocean of pain
Misplaced gift of life
Leading down to death
Cocooning—embracing
Stretching and becoming
Making a bigger space
Scraping out decay
Giving up life
Getting it back again
The lightness of being
A friend of mine sent me an excerpt from the book When the Heart Waits by Sue Monk Kidd. She had lent me the book sometime ago but I never could get into it. I guess it just wasn't the right time.
The excerpt was talking about waiting tied to spiritual overcoming; our walk being a process rather than a Hallmark Moment.
I really don't like that concept. Waiting to get all the way through the pain until I am ready to take back my life and give it to God. Giving my life and heart away to anyone or anything else leads to death and misery--where I am now. Giving my life and heart away to God leads to life and light and shining as the sun.
I know this. I know giving myself up to God is the answer. Wallowing in His love and healing is the answer. I persist like a stubborn two-year-old to hold onto my fantasy that this world will make me happy--will fix all of my woundedness.
Hang on, Summer, hang on! Wait a little longer. All will be well.
Mint: Take Back Your Wallet
2 comments:
I am glad you appreciate your ability to write (because you have a wonderful talent) and that you use it to help with your healing. And in sharing your words, you help the rest of us.
Your post reminded me of this poem.
Prayer is like watching for the
Kingfisher. All you can do is
Be where he is likely to appear,and
Wait.
Often nothing much happens;
There is space,silence and
Expectancy.
No visable sign,only the
Knowledge that he's been there
And may come again.
Seeing or not seeing cease to matter,
You have been prepared.
But sometimes,when you've almost
Stopped expecting it,
A flash of brightness
Gives encouragement.
(Ann Lewin)
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